Little Foxes be Damned
The things that distract me:
- Pretty book covers of books I will NEVER read
- New music on Spotify
- Netflix, especially Drop Dead Diva atm
- Upsetting moments
- Miniscule disagreements that cause me to be unnecessarily offended
- My own carousel of thoughts of what I want and desire, but do not yet have or may never have
- Fears
- Doubts
This list is just a small example of what I allow to distract me from a weekly to sometimes daily basis, in no exact order. I know some of the things on my list may seem trivial. But personally, I am trying to limit the time and energy I expend on things that aren’t truly life giving to me or cause me to procrastinate or ignore fully what should have my attention.Currently, much of my life is spent discovering more about purpose, God, and trying to create while maintaining my part-time job as a sandwich artist by day and writer, dancer, creator, etc. by evening to night. In lieu of all of these things I've realized standing on my feet for five hours of the day cutting bread with stunning perfection and counting slices of semi-frozen deli meat can be quite taxing on ya girl. Most days after work I come home tired, desiring a bath mingled with essential oils and candles to remind myself of peace and relaxation.On the days I feel tired I find it disappointing when I cannot open my computer and write, or the moments I don’t want to will my body to exercise so that I can achieve my goals. Some days after work I spend literal hours on the floor wrapped in a comforter listening to worship or ballad-y love songs until I fall into a rather deep and comfortable 15-30 minute nap.But in the middle of my part time job I sometimes don’t want to go to and the hours I spend recovering from it, I have discovered a true sense of peace.Just two months ago I was living in a house with seven other people completely unrelated to me and on the verge of mental and spiritual exhaustion. There were days and months that went by where I could not write poetry, and the freedom to lie on the floor listening to worship music wrapped in a blanket did not exist.I began to feel the brunt and weight of so many different things and I honestly questioned why God decided he wanted me to stay longer with my internship.Read more about my internship here --> click me!So, one night, my mom and I were on the phone and I was rambling in my fast talking way reminiscent of Lorelai Gilmore and my mom told me to read a simple scripture from Songs of Solomon 2:15 which says,“Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.”
I admit after reading I was kinda like, “okaaay.”Of all the books in the Bible I was not expecting God to use the book that says, “strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love,” to be the thing that encouraged me to continue in that season of my life.But, even now this scripture encourages me in an entirely new season of trusting God with all that I am and all that I have.If there is anything I have learned in the last year it is that “little foxes” are real. I realize that there are so many beautiful possibilities and projects that I can place my attention on without focusing on the the things that stop me from being productive, creative, and whole.I choose to find joy in the times that I do get to write and create and I choose to enjoy the people I work with and the lovely customers I get to make sandwiches for.So, little foxes be damned. For there are more important things worthy of attention, care, and intentional rumination. Grace & Peace,~ A