Pain seeps into crevices of the soul. It finds corners dark and small to hide away, lying in wake for the right moment to bloom. And in the blooming there is a growth unable to be fostered any other way.

Unequivocally, pain has a way of putting the heart through a fire that blazes and when the heat is dealt with properly, the heart comes out on the other side stronger because of it.

The year is concludes tonight at midnight and there is such a novelty to the beginning of a year. It is as if breath is new once again and there is the capability to be different, to be better, than the year before.

Reflection is an exercise many partake in this time of year. I honestly feel as if I have been reflecting all year. After spending a year of my life in Wilmington during my internship I left in May with so much upon my heart to sift through, lift before God, and even to bury. The end of 2017 and most of 2018 has been one of the hardest years of my life compared to any other.

Yet, I realize in the pain, the breathtaking kind of pain that leaves one winded and weak for whatever else may come, there is beauty, growth, and grace upon grace.

There were mistakes made, decisions that yielded bitter fruit, and there were moments of God peeling back layers of myself that needed tending to, and for all of it, I am grateful that this year has not left me broken.

I revel in the care and tenderness God has dealt towards me that I felt undeserving of in certain ways and I look to 2019 with such joy, determination, and hope that the coming year will yield unto all that God has for me as I yield my heart, plans, and life to Him.

God is indeed good. He is kind and He is love and I desire to know more of my Abba this next year.

Happy New Year’s Eve

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