The peppermint tea is warm. A comforting kind of warmth that levels my soul and brings to the forefront today’s worries, and the present moment’s grace. Honey swirls at the bottom of my cup and Elevation Worship resounds from my headphones, and I think of the goodness of God, the power of His love for me, and His transformational grace.

It is moments like these, when it is quiet, when there is tea, a blank page, and a pen I feel it is the opportune time to silence myself and focus on the character of God.

These last couple of weeks I have found myself in a place of reflection. I have taken time to look within myself and consult my Abba on the parts of me that need to look more like him. I am discovering vulnerability, a complete openness with myself, my God, and the beautiful people He’s placed around me.

This isn’t to say I’ve been walking around sharing deep intimate parts of my emotional being with others, but I have truly come to understand that true joy in life, in relationships, and in creativity stem from this place of truly knowing myself. In knowing myself I come to terms and to peace with what I’ve done, what has been done to me, and what God wants to do in and through me.

There is a deep, intricate beauty in the shedding of being so wrapped up in oneself. There is wholeness and restoration in the journey of sharing oneself with others as well as creating space for moments of stilled transparency with God. I think of the Psalmist David and how he wrote in Psalm 139: 23

“For the Pure and Shining One

King David’s poetic song ,

God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through; find out everything that may be hidden within me. Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares.”

This describes beautifully what vulnerability with God looks like. So, I cherish moments with tea and stilled quietness. I long for my heart to be examined and for my “anxious cares” to be sifted through because in the process of life I’d rather be an intimate, vulnerable being who is known by God than one who isn’t.

Grace & Peace,

~ Antavia


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