Some people take wandering

as this sightless meander

with no end in view.

I take it as a journy

needed to understand the

detours of life.

                         ~ Antavia

It seems as if it’s been such a long time since I’ve sat at my computer to write out my thoughts, process life, and create.

The last couple of weeks has been filled with mental detoxing, praying, and writing some poetry that’s kinda alright.

I’ve found myself lately feeling as if I’m wandering through life and then God finds a way of reminding me that growth is only possible when I allow myself patience and love. I’ve been pretty hard on myself about what I’m doing, not doing, and what I did do, and didn’t do. Thinking that way can be super unproductive and it puts me in a funky mood that isn’t pleasant for me or anyone around me.

So, I wrote the poem above as a way to remind myself that when it feels like I’m wandering through life, it isn’t always purposeless. In the time that has been productive I have learned more things about myself. I’ve processed a lot, and I’ve finally learned how to take more time for myself to sit in quiet and just be. “I started waking up earlier and it’s changed life for me slightly.)

Life is a journey and it may not always be pleasant, but it’s worth every moment because when I think about my story, all of the good moments truly outweigh the bad. I see how God has been backing me every step of the way. I find myself being thankful for moments where I can sit and write in a notebook and listen to Ed Sheeran on vinyl. I can be thankful and relish the moments where I can steep loose leaf tea in a strainer and as I watch the leaves react under the heat God reminds me that the process is worth the wait.



~ A

%d bloggers like this: