Vital signs of life have left me
dripping like an IV
I’ve run dry, sapped of all the energy,
of all the spirituality I have tried to capture
to withhold only hiding,
so people won’t see the real me
My gown of complacency has done nothing
but cripple me and left me breathless as
the breaths I breathe leave me gasping for some type of clarity
some type of peace, some type of happiness that may be left inside of me

     I wrote this poem sometime ago and just added a few lines to it. At times I have felt like this and I know exactly why. I want happiness and peace in my life and the beautiful thing is, I am finding it in Christ every day as I choose to draw closer to Him. I realize that Jesus is the true source of my happiness and every good thing in my life. But, as most humans do I turn away from Him, thinking maybe I can find my happiness elsewhere.
      I think sometimes that if I have this specific thing or if I was in a relationship with this person my life would be different, not better, but different. I find myself longing for things that other people have or I find myself wishing I had this, but I know my true joy and happiness won’t come from those things.
My prayer lately has been this, “Father let You be my only desire.” I pray constantly that my fulfillment in life comes only from the Lover of my soul and that is Jesus Christ. I want my priorities to be straight and I want Christ to be number 1 on my list.
         I believe that some of the questions I have been asking will be answered in God’s timing. The dating and the relationship will all be in God’s timing and I cannot go around being impatient. I must wait on God and when I do feel sapped of all of my energy and I don’t feel like waiting anymore I know it is a time for me to draw closer to God. In life we must always remember that our true happiness is derived in knowing the Savior of the world.

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